Walking in Memphis, and Vegas...

The feeling of finishing the seminar on last Friday was one of the most elated moments I'd had the entire week. I felt released from the chains of my captors... and I hadn't even left the building. I put on my running clothes, dropped my presenter at the airport for her earlier flight, and then went for a run in Lee Park along the Mississippi in Memphis. The sun was shining and I just kept running for almost 35 minutes (okay, there was some walking in there...). It really reminded me why I loved this job, and what I need to do to keep going now that I'm not so thrilled about the day-to-day aspects. Once I was done, I walked through a neighborhood for a while to cool down, and then I managed to change into proper Vegas clothes in my car, since the park bathrooms consisted of two port-a-potties. Thank you changing in cars all the time for dance classes in my youth.

My flight wasn't until 7:50, so I still had time. I drove around Memphis, going past Beale St. Once I finally got to the airport, I had a coffee and some BBQ before getting on my way to VEGAS. It was a great time there... going out with the crowd, checking out the hotels and doing some wandering of the strip, getting all primped, seeing Jersey Boys, and getting a nice dinner. Then finally, going out to Tao and seeing Kim Kardashian and her mom who were "hosting" the event. We danced and had a blast, and the girls in the group definitely enjoyed the free-ness of being female (I only spend a few dollars at Tao on tips for the free drinks from 10-11pm) while the guys enjoyed not wearing shoes that inflict constant pain.

Now, I'm back in the deep south for a week, on my way to picking up state #48 (MS) on Wenesday (although I could MAYBE get out of the car on my drive tonight and get it today...). So far, I've clogged my arteries with crawfish etoufee and hush puppies, soon there will be beignets and coffee, and then who knows! I need to go for a treadmill run tonight...

Ode to Working the Health Care

As I've done a solid run through my coverage the other day, and will continue to do so through the end of May, I have a few thoughts.

First off, how does anyone ever find a doctor they like? I've been bouncing around within the Group Health system because I find that really... unless I'm due for someone to poke and prod me, the email and phone networks they have set up work really well for me, especially being on the road. I like that I can fire off email questions, but I've never liked the doctors in my visits that much. The nurses are definitely more interesting to talk to and a lot warmer in personality.

Secondly, I'm not too keen on the fact that I went in to mainly talk about a nagging on/off problem with my anxiety, and the doctor suggested anti-depressants right away. SSRI's are not a laughing matter, and I'm not depressed. After the little 10 point "questionnaire" she said she might say I have "very mild depression," but really, I just get mini panic attacks when I can't sleep for a week straight and have to deal with craziness from my presenter at the same time... which is definitely not the same thing. I've done everything I can to deal with them, but diet and exercise can go right out the window on a BER week. I've had these in the past, and Xanex dealt with them really well... so well that I never even finished the bottle before they expired. So, instead of giving me something that would solve the problem I have (okay, so Xanex pills are potentially habit-forming, but I explained that I knew that and was very careful with them), she wanted to put me on a regimen of drugs for the next 6-10 months! Let's try something that costs less than $10, and monitor that progress before we throw the baby out with the bathwater!!

Lastly, honestly, I knew what I wanted when I went in. There is so much information out there, that I can make an informed decision without going in to the doctor, yet I have to waste most of the half-hour trying to talk her out of putting me on SSRI's and then being referred to someone else for another appointment for the other half of my questions.

At least the dentist and the eye doctor were more straight forward appointments.

I really would like to go to a doctor that was more holistic... but at the same time I hardly need a doctor. The annual tests and bloodwork are fine, but they take all of 15 minutes. And maybe I would like it for someone else to inform me of what tests I should have done at what times, but since I am mostly well, what do I need it for if all they are going to do is try to put me on meds that I probably do not need? I know what diet and exercise means, and I guess I'd love to have someone who is more of a psychologist and nutritionist than a pharmacist, but then again, I have the luxury of not being sick.

What exactly is preventative medicine other than eating a good diet and exercising?

Report Carding for Groundhog's Day

So I tend to forget about new years resolutions just as fast as the next person. So I'm going to give y'all an accountibility/update post on this so that I keep going. So how am I doing?

• Floss Daily: C+
• Take Vitamins Daily: A-
• Drink Less Soda: B
  

Notes: Flossing is still eluding me... I started off strong and now it's right back to twice a week. Maybe I'll try aiming for the AM rather than the PM. Daily means counting Saturdays too, which is proving tricky for my vitamin intake. Lastly, I'm trying to allow myself only one Diet Coke a week, but I'm cheating by drinking ginger ale on planes which probably counts as soda...

I'm also really excited by my running, and am planning to focus on that as part of the new month. I went for a run in Savannah this weekend with Heather, and found that running outside (even in really cold weather) is not so bad in my "minimalist" shoes. I'm definitely capable of 2 miles straight in the shoes, and want to try eeking it up to three soon (anyone know of/want to do a valentine's/president's day 5K?). The big goal of running a 5m/8K race in under 45" still lingers... maybe by May's Beat the Bridge. If only my schedule will allow this year...

Barefoot Running

With my quest to become a perfect packer athletic shoes became one of the first big questions. How does one escape the confines of bulky running shoes without going out and buying something brand new? Over the last few months I’ve been finding myself reading a lot of articles about running barefoot, and while in Austin, I found myself running behind a girl wearing crazy-looking minimalist shoes at the2.5 mile fun run Kirsten and I were doing. I had to find out more…

The basic premise of barefoot running is that the over-cushioning effect of specially designed running shoes actually promotes injury because the muscles of the legs and feet no longer have to work to stabilize a runner’s body. I am particularly drawn to the idea due to my biology background. Think about it, humans have been running and walking for millennia without Nikes, and it has really only been in the last 30 years that the athletic shoe has really come into popular usage. Any industry is created out of a perceived “lack,” and the athletic shoe industry filled the niche created by the idea that more cushioning and specific support features (like an anti-pronation, rigid part of the sole) would reduce injury and realign the body of a runner. However, recent studies and a not-so underground movement have come out suggesting that running shoes might produce the exact opposite results.

Vibram Five Fingers Classic minamalist shoes

Running barefoot, without any kind of protection between my feet and concrete (or the nasty hotel treadmills), doesn’t really appeal to me, but that is why the market has created things like callous shoes. Basically these odd-looking rubber gloves for your allow your feet and leg muscles to stabilize and engage fully as if you were running barefoot, while providing a barrier between your delicate 21st century soles and the surface you’re running on. Give the market any kind of lack, and it will produce a $75+ product for your consumption.

Not being interested in throwing down serious cash on a whim, I pulled out my own version to assist in my packing lighter endeavors and to give this a shot. These little Nike mary-jane sneakers have been in my closet for ages. The soles are thin and unsupportive, and I’d added some superfeet insoles to provide a little more of a transitional cushioning and support. I would not really be running barefoot, and if the running proved to be uncomfortable, using an elliptical machine or stationary bike should still be comfortable with the support of the insoles. I chickened out and used the elliptical for most of the first week on the road, and then on Friday I tried out a treadmill.

my version of minimalism

Immediately I could feel the difference. I quickly switched from the usual heel-toe foot pattern of jogging to landing with the ball of my foot and then my heel. I also felt like running faster than I had with my Asics (although generally I am a much slower treadmill runner than road runner in general, I was up 0.5mph on my average speed by the end of the half hour workout, and this speed increase has been consistent over additional workouts).

Most interestingly, I could feel my body in a way I never had running previously. Side-to-side movement has always made treadmill running tricky for me, but as I felt my body more acutely, I was able to run straighter. I felt a distinct misalignment in my hips, as if one leg were longer than the other. I got of the treadmill and stretched my hips until the alignment felt right, and I could clearly feel when it was right. It was almost a yogic experience, because my muscles were so awakened by the new technique and my mind was so focused on noticing the differences. Post-workout, I was intensely sore in a way running never makes me sore. I had run 2.5 miles, adding in a little slight incline at times, but it was nothing more strenuous than what I had done in both Austin and in Seattle over break. The Asics have not made it back into my suitcase since then.

Now for the disclaimers: I only run on average 1-2 miles when I get on a treadmill so I can imagine that running or training for longer distances would be a completely different can of worms. There still needs to be more long-term studies on this technique, especially considering the long-term high-impact effect on joints. But for me, this is amazing. I love the meditative quality of feeling my body react, and since I’m running on a relatively low-impact surface for short distances for only a few more months, I don’t suspect I’ll have any dire long-term complications.

Has anyone else heard of this new running theory? Anyone else trying it with success? Should I stop this little experiment and either stick to the elliptical or throw the real running shoes back in my suitcase? Or have the shoe companies just found another way to potentially sell you a new product?

A Penny for Your Thoughts

Commenters, solve my moral conundrum:

If I resolved to drink less soda a week ago, will I potentially put myself on the road to ruin by treating myself to a can of diet coke today on my flight?

Resolved

New Years Eve this year was great: I got to hang out with a couple of friends I haven't seen in a while and we had some low-key fun. Pies&Pints for dinner, tasty drinks, watching the fireworks on Jeff's gigantic big screen TV, Wii, Star Trek, party poppers, my sparkly headband and fleecy pants, and cake. That is my idea of a good time. Then starting the year off right: Herkimer, steel-cut oatmeal, and magically figuring out how to transfer my music to my new netbook.

Yes, that's right, my new netbook. I've been tinkering with the idea for a while now, and at a post christmas sale I went for it. The amount of ease it will add to my traveling should completely justify it. The lil'cutie is shiny, and tiny, and lighter than air! I picked it up the first time and almost threw it across the room because it weighed so little. (A part of me wanted to throw it across the room, because it is a PC, but I restrained my Mac sensibilities just this once.) It's been strange operating with two computers all the time, but it's fun feeling super techy with a stack of technology in front of me (mac, netbook, and iphone... it's like little computer Russian dolls).

Because I am resolved, on many levels, to make this year a good year. I started it off with my Christmas wish list, and the wonderful Mom who gave me what I wanted: The Joby Gorillapod Camera Tripod (better fashion photos await!), and yoga socks (which my sister insisted were "too weird" for her to purchase for me). These little, lightweight goodies along with my netbook should make the next 4-5 months more bearable.

Anyways, other than resolving to make my life easier with fancy new travel gizmos, I have three short, sweet, and purposeful resolutions that don't add to my baggage.

1. Take vitamins, because being sick 3 times in the course of 3 months suggests a vitamin C deficiency.

2. Floss. More than 2x a year.

3. Go on a soda hiatus, because 3 diet cokes in one day is too many.

Absurdly, I already blew it with these. I thought I had decided on three, but I couldn't remember one. So I assumed I had decided on two when I wrote them down on NYE. Then today, the crashing realization hit me... VITAMINS!! Probably the most important one, being as how it is the most likely to make me stop being sick constantly and thereby improve my quality of life drastically, yet it slipped my mind. Way to go me.

I want to make this the Year without Fear--the fear of getting sick, the fear of the dentist, the fear of my back going out from all my heavy luggage... and a few other more metaphysical things. We'll get around to that later. Right now, it's all about starting it off on the right foot.

Recipe for Greatness

Here's a sign you've been on the road too long:

I make non-instant oatmeal in a coffee pot.

Upon discovering that microwaving oatmeal ends up in overflowing water and oats in your microwave, I put the oats in the coffee pot and let the hot water and burner do the trick on it's own. It takes a little longer than the directions insist, but it's also way, WAY better than instant.

How you ask?

Step 1:

Buy good oatmeal. I got the old-fashioned oatmeal from whole foods. It's supposed to cook in about 4 minutes. I suspect that if you want to start the oatmeal early enough you could even cook steel cut oats in this method. Just make sure your coffee pot doesn't turn off automatically too soon. Get something that has good flavor but cooks reasonably fast.

Step 2:

Measuring is all about proportions. Look at the directions provided and come up with a ratio. 1:1, 1:1.5, 1:2? Now just use your hotel provided coffee mugs and work the proportion. Fill the cup halfway (remember, the oats will expand), and then add the corresponding amount of water--a half cup, three-quarters cup, or full cup (or whatever). You don't have to be exact with this, but err on the more water side for less chewy oatmeal.

Step 3:

Put oats in the carafe part of the coffee maker, then add the water to the water part. MAKE SURE there is no coffee in the basket (unless you like coffee-flavored oatmeal, which could be interesting...). Just to be sure sometimes I run a full pot of water through to clean out the inner workings. Turn on the coffee pot and let the water percolate.

Step 4:

Periodically check and stir oatmeal. Usually I let it sit on the burner for about 5-10 minutes. This helps keep the hot water heated while the oats absorb it and boils off the excess water. You can always tip out water from the oats at this point if the ratios are off. Stir it so that you don't burn the oatmeal too badly to the bottom of the carafe.

Step 5:

Eat! I've found that honey makes a great sweetener if you need it, and you can always add mini-moo's if you need a creamy texture. Just realize that a packet of oatmeal and a bear of honey packed next to each other evidently look a lot like a bomb in a checked bag... Silly TSA.

You're not done though!

Step 6:

Fill the carafe with water and let it soak. This way, any oatmeal that has stuck to the bottom will be easily removed. Then, use a washcloth to wipe it out, or leave a bigger than normal tip for the maid.

Acceptable Fast Food

I've always been a Wendy's proponent... a small chili, side salad, and a frosty is my go-to when I have to resort to fast food. It's honestly one of the few things I can get from the standard chains which include everything from Applebees and Cracker Barrel to TGI Fridays and Bob Evans. I have constantly turned up my nose at many fast food options that I'm unfamiliar with, including Chick-fil-A.

For you west coasters, this franchise is ubiquitous throughout the midwest and the south. It's in malls, airports, free standing restaurants, and roadside plazas. I see teachers in certain areas coming in with their breakfast bags from Chick-fil-A rather than McDonald's or Dunkin Donuts. Yet, I had avoided it like the plague. The oddly anti-french spelling of the chain, it's popularity with teachers, and the general fast-food nature of it scared me away. Turns out, it's actually one of the best options out there when you're in a crunch and don't want Panera.

I had a wrap--it was grilled chicken, non-iceburg lettuce, tomatoes, carrot shreds, cabbage, and a little cheese wrapped in a multi-grain flatbread. It was simple food at it's best, and it felt decently healthy... although at 410 calories and 12 grams of fat, that certainly wasn't actually the case. Is it strange to anyone else that "grilled" chicken can actually be fattier than fried? Or that flatbread wraps are worse than buns?

The good news was that it tasted pretty darn good, and filled me up. So maybe my prejudices against certain chains need to end.

Penny For Your Thoughts

$0.01: Sometimes having the nutrition information readily available online is not such a good thing after you caved and got the lunch you most craved because it involved little spiral pasta noodles.

$0.02: Sometimes a 1,000 calorie (not counting the garlic bread) lunch is completely warranted after a loooong morning of "why aren't there any snacks?" complaints.

$0.03: Southern Belles are by far the most annoyingly needy participants EVER.

When it is Okay to Break the Rules

Break the rules when:

A: You've downed your water bottle upon noticing there was no sink near security to throw out the remaining 16 oz.

B: You purchase and consume a small (since when is 12 oz small?) latte to fill your tummy and power you through the remaining time zone adjustment and afternoon of connecting flights.

C: You board a small aircraft which flies at a low altitude for nearly an hour and a half, running into some rather bumpy air after the first 40 minutes, right about when you start to think about bugging your seatmate to move so you can go to the lavatory.

D: The captain turns on the seatbelt sign, keeps it on for the remainder of the flight, and then proceeds to circle around Cincinatti airport as there is a lot of traffic at the Delta hub, extending the flight by 10 minutes.

Facing a sloshy airplane bathroom and the ire of your not-so-friendly flight attendant is probably better than feeling like your bladder is about to burst as your plane bounces and skitters a landing on the runway. Lesson learned.

Immunity and Impunity

Turns out my cold might have been a flu, but after coping with feeling horrible from Thursday through Monday, I managed to beat whatever was keeping me down by Tuesday night, just in time for the fun to begin. Working with a bug keeping you at about 25% of your capacity is pretty wretched though, especially when you have no other option. I had to register people and do all of the AV set-up and tear down, regardless of how sick I was. It was something I knew going in, but I didn't realize that I'd be getting a flu over the course of the year. Flying on Sunday turned out okay since I got to talk my way into the Economy Plus section of the United flights I was on. Turns out threatening to need "constant access to the bathroom" due to a flu gets you some kind of respect. Might have to try that again later on. :)

The good part of my job is that I can just sleep all morning once the morning announcement is out of the way. So if I do it to start off the day at 8:30, I can sleep at least until 1pm if not 2pm. That's how I managed to get better, no thanks to my presenter refusing to offer to do a day's worth of driving... At least he cut me some slack and let me go sleep rather than insisting I be out front all day. He's actually really laid back, as was my presenter last week, so I have been very lucky in that. It's nice to be able to sleep through your work day, even if you have to get up and drive 2-3 hours after the seminar.

Since I'm driving, I was able to snag a side trip to the state of Delaware (as seen above). We were going from DC to Cherry Hill and I got off the turnpike for a mile to get to the University of Delaware so that we could take a picture. So that's another state checked off the list! I've also had same cities with other program managers this week so I've had fun hanging out and getting good food with different people my age. We have a great instant camaraderie on the road since we all know what the other one is going through. We gab about presenters and other program managers and just generally have a chance to relate to someone who is not hotel staff or a teacher. Teachers... ugh.

This weekend, I'll pick up another state and travel to Vegas for the first time with a whole crew of present and former program managers! Should be a barrel of laughs and debauchery... I'm so excited!! :)

Closing In

Closing in on 25,000 words--halfway. I had to take a break due to an exciting weekend in Green Bay and the threat of an impending cold. I'm feeling better and writing again, although I'm intrigued by one thing:

I do some really messed up things to my characters.

I finished beating the crap out of my main character and now I'm forcing one character to accidentally kill his brother. How do I come up with this crap? :P

Piece of Cake Pizza

Yeast scares me. I don't know what to do with it outside of a bread machine. So I took a page from the Joy of Cooking (and from my roommate who's amazing with all things baking) and made some pizza (#27 complete!). Turns out, it only takes about 2.5 hours total... not too bad for two large pizzas!

Pizza a la Adrian

Dough:
1 packet Active Dry Yeast
1 1/3c Warm Water
3 1/2c Flour
2 tbsp Olive Oil
1 tbsp Salt
1 tbsp Sugar (optional)

• Mix yeast with water and let disolve for 5 minutes.
• Add remaining ingredients and mix until the dough combines and is smooth.
• Form it into a ball and drizzle with olive oil. Place dough ball into a bowl and cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let rise until it doubles in size (about 1-1.5 hours) in a warm place (75-80ºF).
• Punch down dough and divide in half, wrap each half in plastic and let rest for 10-15 minutes. Meanwhile, grease and dust 2 baking sheets with olive oil and corn meal and preheat oven to 425ºF.
• Stretch dough carefully (I did this both in the air and then on the cookie sheet) to fill baking sheet. Fold and pinch edge to form crust. Brush with olive oil to prevent it from getting soggy and dimple it with your fingers to prevent it from bubbling.

Sauce (make while crust is rising):
2 tbsp Olive Oil
1 small Onion, diced
3 cloves Garlic, crushed
1, 28oz can of Crushed Tomatoes
2-3 tbsp Italian Seasoning (dried)
1 tbsp Parsley (dried)
3 stems of Basil

• Saute onion and garlic. Add tomatoes and seasonings.
• Simmer for 10-15 minutes minimum to thicken.
• Allow to cool. Spread over prepared crust.

Toppings:
1lb Mozzarella Cheese
chopped basil
sliced garlic
sliced tomatoes
chopped onion
chopped red pepper
sliced kalamata olives
...really, anything goes here

• Sprinkle toppings over pizza, cheese goes last.
• Place Pizza in oven and bake for 12-15 minutes until cheese is bubbly and melted and crust is slightly browned.
• Devour... but don't burn the roof of your mouth!

Short List: September 21, 2008

I need to get some shit done! I'm oh so very close to getting a new leaser for the apartment, and I did some really fun spreads in my journal today (see below to get a glimpse of my mental landscape), but there's more to be done. Packing and moving doesn't take as much time as it sometimes seems like it will. I'm going to pack up a lot of stuff and take a load down on Tuesday, then I've got a shared U-Haul with BL on Saturday, so I think I'll be containing moving to those two days. So then, what else to do?

Short List for the week of 9/21/08:
(yes, I want to get these things done this week, by 9/28/08)

• Take a yoga class and sign up for yoga podcasts. (#2 in progress)
• Get a massage. (#17, in progress)
  
• Drink no soda. (#32, last soda was 9/12/08, and I'm going for it this time...)
• Buy produce at farmer's market. (#25, to complete at the end of September!)
• Make pizza from scratch (and maybe some quick bread too...). (#27, to complete)
• Make/find list of 100 classic books. (#49, to complete)
• Back up hard drive and make note to back up in late October. (#67, in progress)
• Buy another CD (or two). (#94, in progress)
• BONUS: Develop a filing system. (#69, to complete)

If I succeed, I'll have 3 (or 4 if I challenge myself...) things crossed off and many of my in progress items better underway. I think this is reasonable, considering how much time I have to kill. Yay for to-do lists!

leap day means an extra chance

So far, February has mostly been a wash. Yes, I actually did get some stuff done (taxes & CSA), but overall I'm feeling frustrated by this month...

• Flossing is not working for some reason. I want to do it every night, and I'd made it over a week before simply forgetting and going to bed after only brushing. Ever since then, I haven't made it more than 2 days in a row, although it's definitely over 3 days a week since I started, I'm not meeting the goal, or really feeling compelled to.
• The snow has crapped out. Suddenly I don't have powder to board on, and I'm going to struggle to get those last 3 trips to the mountains in. Last Monday, Vinh and I rented skis to make the iced-over day more interesting. It worked, but it's not the same. I'm so happy that I have skill at boarding that I want to continue to develop. Now I just have to think of it as spring season... Even though it's still February. Damn Global Warming.
• I need to post pictures of my snowboard gear that I need to sell... Plus now I need to sell my old raincoat since I got a new one. Maybe this weekend I'll get around to it...
• In the career front, I've been actively reading and thinking about a career in science writing. There's a program at UC Santa Cruz that is highly reputable, but I'm struggling with whether getting a science writing certificate rather than a journalism MA would be worth it if at some point I want to move away from science altogether. I suppose once you've established a record and a career in journalism, any kind of writing will open up whether I have a fancy degree or not. Now if I would just CALL the admissions people and see if I have a chance in hell at getting in...
  
• I also realized that I HAVE been trying new restaurants in seattle... Starting with January 1st. Jade Gardens with Vinh (1-1-08) and also O'Asian with my parents (2-9-08). Both dim sum places. Jade Gardens wins for food, O'Asian for atmosphere.

So that's the list of what I'm acctually accomplishing. Maybe more of a story-based entry to come.

taking it to the tax man

Not a particularly exciting tax return, like always, but a finished return! This is the first year that I've managed to file before April... and I think before April 14th. I've never gotten money back, and this year is no different. I'd forgotten to switch my status at PSBC from exempt to non-exempt last January, so I'd earned over $8000 without paying any taxes at all. Luckily, I caught it after I switched to FHCRC, and had them withhold a little more. Not quite enough it turns out, but since I owe less than $500, I'm not upset about it. That's what I get for making money now. I'm definitely not going to be saving money this month, but I'm not going to be pinching pennies, AND I'm not going to be freaking out come April. Check off #39!

The other day I fell off the flossing wagon though. I slept-walked through brushing my teeth and just wandered straight off to bed rather than flossing. It really does take 21 days to form a habit... The 9 days I had couldn't quite cut it. Then I just got lazy last night and blew it again. No more of that!

In other news, I'm signed up to get a CSA box from Full Circle Farm this week (#26 in progress!) and will get to have fun with parsnips, bok choy, and cremini mushrooms. Should be interesting at least...

at the end of a long, dark tunnel

Evidently, there is more going on in my life than I want to admit to myself. Yesterday, about an hour after arriving at work my vision tunneled, my right hand tingled, and my hairline felt like it would split open. Luckily (if you can call it that), this time I knew what was going on. A migraine. This time I was not alone in a foreign country, 9 hours off of the time zone of everyone I cared about, and separated from everyone around me by a language barrier (although, "migraine" is the same word in both English and French, and carries the same sympathetic weight no matter where you say it). Instead, this time I simply left work, took the bus home, and huddled under the covers of my bed with a heavy dose of Advil and caffeine until 6pm, when the pain finally subsided. Happily, I'm well rested now.

What surprises me about this episode is how rarely I get migraines. I can only specifically recall 3 instances that were distinctly migraines: after high school graduation, in Paris, and yesterday. The previous two I had attributed to the denouemont of a climax of stress. Only problem with this theory: what the heck have I been stressed about? I suppose if you really look at it, I've been stressed out ever since I graduated from UW. Finding a job, learning a new job, buying a car, christmas, getting the car tabs and ensuing processes... I've really never stepped off of a roller-coaster since last December. So no wonder really.

The question is how the heck I'm going to manage to deal with my stress, since the sources aren't actually going to go away. I still have to deal with working, having and affording my car, and day-to-day life. This summer I'm hoping to make a dent. Hopefully a few backpacking trips will ease the pain of the daily grind. Snowboarding is making a big dent in the Real World growing pains, while adding in the stress. Maybe I really need to find a source of relaxation that I'm not trying yet... like doing a short yoga practice on a more daily basis, or at least meditating. Where I'm going to find time for that, I'm not sure seeing as how I've failed to find the time to merely clean up my room for ages.

At the very least, I think Saturday is going to be for me. A little cleaning, a little coffee shopping, a little farmer's market and tasty cooking. Definitely wine.

Yes, that will make the migraines stay away. Perhaps migraines aren't that bad... they give me a chance to remember, every year and a half or more, that I'm pushing myself too hard and not taking advantage of what I do actually have going for me.

progressing

Poem on the Bus
Originally uploaded by arirose

Screw starting over... I want to move forward, not backwards! After 30 days (if you count this evening) I've only missed out on brushing my teeth once, and it was because I was nearly comatose with a cold. So yah, I messed it up somewhat, but the habit has been formed far better than I expected. Time for me to move on to step two of the three-part extravaganza: flossing. After this evening, I'll cross off #12 and start counting my flossing. This may be more difficult for me, seeing as how I usually only floss once or twice a week. I bought new floss last night though, so here's to that! When that habit is in place, I'm going to treat myself to a whitening treatment, so if anyone has any reviews/suggestions as to what over the counter product is best, please let me know!

I'm also right on track with my journaling and my Project 366, although updating flickr has been a bit lax this week (but I'm not the only one! *ahem* Jeffy...). Lately, I'm feeling held back by something, perhaps my car... My tabs expire tomorrow, but since the check engine light is on and I need an emissions test, I have to actually take the car in to get it fixed. Luckily, my parents have a mechanic they trust and I have an appointment to fix the "knock engine sensor" which, unfortunately, is broken... causing the light to go on. I'll probably ask about the 4th headlight cover as well, and maybe my broken remote. Since I've got the roof rack, chains, jumper cables, and scraper/brushy thing, once the tabs are purchased I'll be able to cross off #40 as well! I should really have mailed in my automatic payment form for the insurance by now, but I keep forgetting. Maybe I'll remember tonight!

In other news, I got new jeans. They are the same cut as my favorite pair (AE boyfriend cut, turns out wide leg jeans make my legs look like toothpicks!) only really dark washed. It really makes me happy to have 3 perfect pairs of jeans: dark, light, and skinny. When I get around to culling my clothes for spring (#72, which I really want to do NOW, but again... held back by something), I really want to define my style more concretely. The 20/80 rule interests me... The idea that you wear 20% of your clothes 80% of the time. Perhaps what I want to do is really pull my wardrobe back to its bones, only containing that which I really wear and really love. I might keep some things that I don't wear regularly in the hopes that one day, when I have a job where I need to wear more than jeans and a tee-shirt, I'll want to wear some of that other 80%. After all, that's what parent's houses are for!

I'm starting to feel better about this list, and about life in general after my week of anti-social, ho-hum-ness. I can't wait for spring to come with all of its SAD-relieving sunlight and warmth. Of course, then the snow will melt, and I have to make it to the mountains 5 more times!

a feeling of floating

Whistler is a place that spoils you. After the soaring views and extended runs, a place like Steven's just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. Of course, there are downsides to everything, like long lift lines, -13 degree (Celsius) temperatures, the complications of discounted tickets, and the fact that sororities and fraternities from around the northwest happened to converge on all of the clubs this last weekend... Luckily, the Greeks were all too hung over to really over populate the mountain but looking at the long lines into every restaurant and club, I was actually glad we'd brought food to cook for ourselves.

Sadly, I'd caught a cold and started showing symptoms on Thursday. By Sunday, the exhaustion and aches and pains had caught up with me. My ears were also completely fried from the congestion. Not even Sudafed could help my ears pop after two days of rapid frequent elevation changes. The world has been a little bit on 'mute' ever since, although I'm feeling much better today.

Being sick makes me temperamental and anti-social too, which didn't help with dealing with the 11 other people on the trip with me. The smells of cooking food burned my throat rather than enticed my appetite and I wanted to spend the evenings quietly lying down or curled up in a hot tub rather than playing games or talking. I lashed out once or twice and was somewhat alienated from the rest of the group for much of the trip because I was so tired and quiet. I hate it when that happens on a weekend that's supposed to be fun, but I really value my sleep more than listening to people I don't really know argue and poke fun at each other for hours on end. So I'm antisocial when I'm sick. So sue me.

Otherwise, the trip was amazing. I'm now capable enough on my snowboard to do everything I want to do. Vinh and I even ended up on a black diamond run that will eventually be used for the Super G and downhill races at the 2010 Olympics. Considering I managed to carve on some of the steep slopes, I felt pretty content with my skills! Our last run of the weekend was also amazing. We'd gone over to Blackhom and caught pretty much the last lift up to the highest point open (the wind had closed 7th Heaven sadly). The start of the run went down a long, narrow corridor of gently sloped snow, with trees on both sides and the sun filtering in as it dipped below the mountain tops in the distance. The fact is, before this trip I wouldn't have even been able to make it down without catching edges or stopping constantly, probably forcing myself to have to unclip and scoot myself over the flat and uphill bits. My carving skills have developed to the point where I can not only manage this run but actually enjoy it immensely. It probably helped that the run was in the direction so that I, as a goofy-stanced rider, could be on my heel edge much of the way, but I was definitely carving and taking turns on my toe edge from time to time, something I never would have done before. I was simply floating down through the dappled sunlight... overly romantic, but amazing regardless! It feels great to finally be developing the skills to really enjoy this sport, especially in such a beautiful place.

However, while I'm halfway there on my snowboarding goal, I fell off the brushing my teeth wagon. Sunday night, after playing scategories for an hour, I barely made it into bed, much less stopping to brush my teeth. I was physically incapable of even getting up for a glass of water to take more sudafed, and my head felt boxed in my the pressure in my ears. So, 20 days in I fell short. Bah! Now to start over... I'm already at day 3! Luckily I'd scribbled something in my journal and taken lots of photos during the day so those goals didn't fall by the wayside... as long as I get around to posting the photos to flickr by the end of the week.

progress reporting

Moleskines and Herkimer
Originally uploaded by arirose

It's 6 days in and I can hardly see results. My flickr Project 366 set is woefully lacking 360 photos still, my journal is only 10 pages in, and I'm going to have to put off selling my snowboard until after I loan it to a friend for our Whistler trip. But on the other hand, I'm getting myself out of bed to brush my teeth and I'm curling up with my moleskine and my pen to write out both the positive and negative effects of the days. My camera is constantly with me allowing me to take shots of things I normally would just pass by without a glance and I even went to a yoga class today. So why does this feel so much better than a New Year's Resolution? Probably the chance to mess something up and try again (I've given myself a lot of leeway on this... none of my goals require perfection on the first try).

I'm trying to keep up with my list in the sidebar, and putting even more effort into not allowing myself to go for too many goals at a time. The only two things I have completed is the knitting project, and sending out thank-you notes for Christmas gifts (which is only one part of that goal... it cannot be crossed off in its entirety until June '10!). Here's the list of what I've made steps towards:

3. Snowboard 10x in one season. (2/10) [Two more to add when I get back from Whistler, and maybe one before that!]
12. Brush teeth 2x a day for a month straight. (5/30)
34. Set up automatic payments for insurance and car payments. [Just have to mail in the second form, and get the companies to recognize them.]
56. Write a journal entry everyday for at least 3 months straight (Embodiment). (5/92)
57. Write a blog post a week for 3 months straight. (1/12)
60. Complete a Project 365 (or 366...). (5/366)

Epiphany Brunch
Originally uploaded by arirose

That's quite the list for the first week of the year. I'm surprised how easy the regular things like journaling, teeth-brushing, and Project 366 have been to accomplish. Soon enough, I'll add the yoga to this list since I felt really wonderful at class this morning. If I can get myself to go to more classes on a regular basis again, I'll be crossing that one off sooner than I thought! I should also soon be started on more of the car details since I have to do tabs next weekend. I'll probably go get everything else done-- whatever I choose to afford at least. Plus, I have to buy my roof rack for snowboarding because of the Whistler trip upcoming so there's no reason to not get the rest done. Luckily, one of my car purchases is solved already-- I went home for a Epiphany Lunch/ Brunch/ let's- just- enjoy- these- decorations- one- more- time- before- mom- takes- them- down Party. Grandma and Grandpa came over too, bearing "Epiphany presents." Mom, Dad and I had just been talking about how I needed a brush/scraper thing for my mountain-bound car when Grandma handed me just that! Thanks to Grandma I have one less thing to shop for on my way to crossing off another goal.