looking for that thing deep down

So, more or less I'm taking option 3 while expecting option 1 to kick in anytime now, since I'm not sure what the hell direction option 3 is going to lead me in. What do I mean? Just that I'm going on with life as it is, in this somewhat stinky economy with very limited lab job postings (and my limited interest in another lab job) and meanwhile trying to figure out just what it is that I should be doing. Part of me is determined to see if being creative outside of work will be enough to allow me to function those 40 hours a week in a rather logical and dry career. I realize I need to get out of science at some point, but I need something stronger to stand on than a part time job a Starbucks or REI with regards to a potential new career.

But on the other hand, writing is just not happening. Sometimes I'll get a moment where I want to write something, but even writing for this blog is something I'll put off to no end... Hopefully a new endeavor will encourage me to write more (while being another thing on my 101 list to check off, now that I'm getting painfully behind!). Here goes:

So you'll have to promise not to laugh, but I'm starting in on visual journaling. It was very roundabout, but I found multiple blogs by rather talented and creative people in the course of a week (just around my birthday actually). Through these discoveries (and many, many minutes and which probably add up to hours spent watching youtube videos...) I landed on a blog where the author was about to start an online workshop. God knows I respond well to assignments and accountability... Plus, it was going to run during the 8 weeks that Vinh was out of town (and thus I'd actually have some time to myself, and I mean that in the nicest way possible Vinh... :)). So I threw caution to the wind, stopped at the art supply store, and stocked up on the various supplies needed to be non-verbally creative.

The first assignment was in regards to space: your general art space, the journal as space, journaling away from your usual locale, and in some ways, defining the spaces within the page. This page (above) is the first attempt, which turned out better than I'd expected. I'd forced myself to cover the pages in stream-of-consciousness writing, then some crayon doodles, then layering on paint (acrylics, using my new $.65 plastic palate knife... it's fun :)). After that I kinda ran out of ideas, even though the pages looked so pretty in an abstract kind of way. I made the butterflies out of cardstock and then put in the notebook paper scraps to create writing space (see, I can never get away from words...). The pictures were part of the "assignment" in which I determined my "in" journaling space, and my "out" journaling space. The "in" is basically my coffee table draped in an old XL t-shirt (freebie from an engineering fair...) and my Met bag with a large shoebox of supplies inside. To try to be brave, I took a small bag of supplies (mostly markers, crayons, glue, tape and collage scraps) to my favorite coffee shop, Herkimer, and stayed as long as I felt I could justify taking up their table. This page (at right), which had a red background already painted on it, turned into a bit of a complaint towards adulthood and the frustrations I'm feeling between what I want to do and what is feasible. I'm not sure I'm as happy with this page since I think I kept going too far with it, but I suppose for a second attempt, and in trying conditions, it's probably progress.

So there you go, something new to write about and to post pictures of. My 366 is being mended right now... but I'm almost caught up after having to do some patchwork and catch-up photos. Capturing days that are insanely boring while not repeating the same photo over and over is not very easy. Not easy at all.