Seeing the Country in 20 Months

Screw only making it to a reasonable 40 states—I’m going to see all 50 in less than 2 years.

At this point, my only remaining states to get to are as following: Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, Hawaii, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Mississippi, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming… At least two of which (Vermont and Maine) that I am guaranteed to get to by the end of May, and one more (Connecticut) that I have a high likelihood of driving through. For BER, I can definitely make it to almost everything that is left on the list, excepting Alaska and Wyoming. With KAL’s help, I hope to make it to Alaska for a short jaunt sometime in the not-too-distant future and I’m contemplating a little road trip to Yellowstone as soon as I get back for the summer this year. So, if you start with October of 2008, when I started this job, by the time May or June 2010 rolls around, all I have to do is go to all the states I am lacking, and add in extra visits to California and Florida to say I did all 50 in about 20 months.

Then you add in that I’ve gone to all of the more southern provinces of Canada west of Quebec and have at least been to Puerto Vallarta in Mexico, and I feel like I’ve covered most of North America. Then count that I lived in Paris for three months, toured Italy, and spent a month in New Zealand and Australia, all before turning 26, and I can hardly believe it myself. Now to just finish making it happen!

10 Things I Learned in First Class

1. The "express lanes" for first class do not necessarily let you check in nor get through security faster.

2. The seats in coach really are inhumanely scrunched. I feel like a normal person and not a sardine.

3. Bloody Mary's are really disgusting.

4. Respectful and helpful treatment from a flight attendant makes a huge difference in how you feel about flying.

5. The really do have hot towels.

6. Bloody Mary's do not start to taste better as you try to force yourself to drink them.

7. Airplane food is totally disgusting. I wish I had the CPK at the airport, or an Alaska airline burger.

8. At least they have cute salt and pepper shakers.

9. The tray tables are actually big enough for a laptop and a glass of water (once you get the flight attendant to dump the bloody mary).

10. I can actually sleep/curl up in these seats.

Unfortunately for them, I still think US Airways is crap.

New Blog

So in addition to this blog, in which I post too many food stories, I'm starting a new blog that's geared more for my actual co-workers. It still might make for fun reading for anyone who wonders about eating on the road. I mentioned Grannie Bee's on it, as well as my dinner last night in Charlottesville, VA. If you wanna take a look at the new Program Manager Restaurant Guide, go here.

Roadside Adventures

This afternoon we had a long drive from Richmond to Roanoke. About two hours in, my presenter noticed that we were about to pass Appomattox, VA and we decided it was about the right time to find a bathroom and get dinner. First we drove to the national park, where we saw the battlefield and (from a distance) the reconstructed Appomattox courthouse where, if you don't recall, Lee surrendered to Grant to end the Civil War. Then, on our way back to the highway, my presenter spotted a sign pointing to town where "restaurants, antique shops, and stores" were promised.

If you exclude fast food, there was actually no "s" on the end of "restaurants". The only option we could find was on the fabulous, one-block Main Street--Grannie Bee's. Walking in was like walking into an odd horror movie. We were the only people under 60. There were no less than three women in terrifyingly overdone makeup. Everyone stared at us like we were aliens. The entire place smelled like a deep-fryer. Everyone spoke with a thick southern twang. No joke.

The menu was sparse, but they had sweet tea! The waiter announced that the special was "saol-oh-mahn cakes" and "...the extra vegetable tonight is mac'n'cheese." I was definitely not ordering the special, but feeling adventurous I ordered fried flounder (meh...), green beans (from a can...), and the "veggie" mac'n'cheese (probably velveeta...). At least the sweet tea was tasty and the rest was definitely edible, unlike my presenter's unwise choice of "country ham" which more resembled shoe leather than food.

As soon as we exited the restaurant, walking past the most pathetic, wilted salad bar I have ever seen (including a large, soupy, clear container of cling peaches), we climbed into the car and burst out in giggles. Really, who cares if the food sucked, it was amazing. Utterly amazing.

Amplification

Sometimes I think the more difficult a presenter is only amplifies the problems we will face that week. In a typical week, there's at least one day where the room is set up all wonky or where the sound system is total crap, but when you meet someone who has more than their 3 allotted suitcases, you know it's going to be even worse than normal.

First off, it's not impossible to pack light, in fact almost all of the crap I see my presenters set out in the morning is completely worthless. This week I have a presenter who has her own (albeit miniature, it's designed for backpackers) guitar with her... and she uses it MAYBE twice during the day, for less than 5 minutes at a time. The guitar case, along with her three suitcases and a backpack definitely puts her over the flying carry-on limit. All for 10 minutes of showing off that she can play simple chords. Not necessary at all, and all that crap only means we'll have a harder time packing up the car and setting up at the start of the day. You're starting off at a disadvantage already.

Second, what's with needing a ridiculous amount of complicated set up? If you are so particular that you request your tables in a specific pattern on a diagram, then complain that you have to move them into a different pattern every morning, which the set up people would have to be telepathic to figure out, you're setting yourself up to spend way too much time moving tables. This goes along with having too much stuff--less stuff requires less display space. Plus, stop being so anal and be a little flexible, it'll save you oodles of time and make everyone happier.

Last, what's with the attitude? I'm no "The Secret" follower, but really, I always hit unavoidable traffic, have completely absent hotel staff, or have a speaker blow up when I'm with the more anxious presenters. Maybe I just don't notice the bad stuff when I'm with people who aren't expecting everything to go wrong, or who react with calm efficiency when a wrench does get thrown in the works. Calm down and let things simply happen... it'll make your ulcer fade a bit and make my day (and yours!) so much better.

This week, as with last week, I've got a presenter with too much stuff, too much anxiety, and too little flexibility. Both are fun, wonderful people, but the sheer amount of stress they hold (and pass along to me) is ubsurd. This week I'm having microphone problems, which is bad enough as it is, but with someone who is so laden with baggage it's ten times worse. Hopefully the problem will be solved soon via a new microphone, but until then, I'm just keeping on keeping on. If I stay calm and content it balances things a bit.

Stupid Stupid

...I'd like to blog about random things this afternoon, mainly the fact that I feel very little attachment to doing a good job this week, but I can't because my presenter requires my computer to be able to play the sound part of some of the videos she HAS to play for laughs in her presentations. See, her sound card broke and my Mac can't hook up without an adapter cable that I don't have/carry because their computer problems are not supposed to be my responsibility.

At some point earlier this week, I should have said, "Really, just skip the videos," but for some reason I'm being too nice again, and in order to not rent a $500 laptop for 4 LAME videos, I'm offering this solution. I should have saved my placating for next week's hyper-insane presenter. After all, I got another "But really, she's an amazing person..." voicemail the other day, a SURE sign next week will suck.

Yay for good friends in Tennessee later tonight!

Penny For Your Thoughts

An old Starbucks card gift sleeve makes a nice iPod earbud cosy:

Busy Busy Busy Bee

So I've been definitely feeling less than exciting lately, at least as far as this blog goes. I've gone to Niagara Falls, hung out with great folks (both co-workers and old friends), and visited NYC for a night of crazy fun all since whenever I last posted. I've completed knitting my first pair of socks, finally finished reading another "classic" I'd never been assigned, and this week am in the process of picking up states 35-38. All this while working 11/12 days and experiencing some fun airplane delays and border-crossing dramas. Luckily, I'm fine, everything is still rolling smoothly, and I'm still luckier than most when it comes to travel. I think it really comes down to the fact that sometimes I stretch myself too thin.

How many hobbies do I have? How many projects am I working on while planning fun jaunts around various towns? How many friends am I trying to keep up with via texting, facebook, email, IM, and scarce phone conversations? How come I'm still confused why I'm tired?