Hitting the BER Wall

Five more months...

It's a long time when you think about it. The problem that one runs into with working a crazy schedule like mine is complete and utter burn out. Sleep deprivation kicks in, time zone changes start wearing on you, and the sight of one more pathetic hotel breakfast buffet turns your stomach. I was ready to get back on the road again after the holidays, but for whatever reason, I didn't ever manage to adjust to the central time zone. Six hours of sleep a night was a good day, and soon enough I was living on caffeine. I can manage this lifestyle for a week, but that's the limit. I need to find a way to make it through to the end while being able to enjoy myself still.

The worst part of all of it though is the pressure of weekends. When I'm home, I want to do everything. I want to go to yoga, I need to get my laundry done, I want to see friends, I want to get my hair cut by my favorite stylist, I need to repack, I want to repack oh so perfectly, I want to go out and have a beer for a friend's birthday. But instead I tend to mess it up--the haircut appointment, arriving too late for a class, falling asleep suddenly (for once) at the most inopportune moment after flopping down on my bed for 5 minutes.

Having two lives is ridiculous, yet that's what I've got. I have on-the-road me, who simply lives out of a suitcase and deals with the same routine day to day, splashing in some fun little excitements as much as I can along the way. Then there is at-home me, who really just wants to relax, but has all of the minutia of a real life to deal with: opening mail, doing laundry, running errands, renewing car tabs, seeing people I don't get to see regularly any more... etc. etc.

It's almost more exhausting being home than being on the road. This wouldn't be the case if I didn't have to fly trans-continental every single time I came home. But even when I fly to Chicago or Texas, I end up leaving before 11:30am on Sunday. Luckily, this next weekend I'm in New Orleans, and while that doesn't sound like a restful weekend to some... it's going to be full of long, sleeping-in-all-day mornings since we have three whole days to play and a swanky hotel to live it up in. AND I'm not going to lose three hours and gain them back again. I might swap one hour back and forth, but that's nothing. This is why stayovers are crucial to my life, and yet a hindrance to it. The following weekend, I get to pray that my car passes an emission test so that the tabs can be renewed, since this is the only time I can get to it.

It's an interesting life, and one that you have to be prepared to plan ahead for. Luckily, I'm looking forward to finishing up in May and starting out anew on a path to figure out what will come my way.